The question of why do I want to do this came into my head this morning on my run. The run itself was not bad or particularly good, just a run. Now before you stop reading this is not going to be a tale of self pity and woe is me, just an exploration of the question why.
When I started to think about why do I want to do a triathlon, my initial thoughts were I am not sure I really do anymore, I am still struggling with swimming and whilst I enjoy running all I really want to do is ride my bikes. Once I got past the knee jerk reaction and started to think about it in a more rational way I was able to break it down a bit. Just to be clear, I carried on thinking about this after my run and its been on my mind most of the morning as well.
I decided to go back to why I first decided I wanted to do a triathlon, well, I have been interested in triathlons ever since I was young and remember seeing highlights on World of Sport or reading about the latest kit in the old Freewheel catalogue (yeah I am now showing my age!), but the swimming aspect always put me off. When I finished the year of running, I realised that you can pretty much do anything you want to if you put your mind to it and dedicate some time and effort. At that point the challenge of doing a triathlon looked like the way to go.
So we move on, as we have established what first gave me the idea, anyone who knows me will testify that I do like a challenge and that is what learning to swim has been and still is. People who can swim do not realise how difficult learning to swim actually is. As I am not the most patient of people at times, the amount of time it is taking me to get the hang of swimming is a cause for concern. But the swimming alone is not enough to make me question why.
The amount of time I need to dedicate to training is something I sometimes wonder if its fair on my wife, luckily our boy is plenty old enough not to need too much parental care these days, more advice and guidance! Now, I know I really lucky in that my wife has always been supportive of the sports I do, and as she is also a runner she is not adverse to going off for on her own. So the time to train or pressure from the wife, again not reasons to questions why.
So, if its not the swimming or the wife what is it that made me question why do I want to do it? Well, I am not sure I actually know. Perhaps it happens that every so often you question why am I doing this, for me I think I still want to do it, I am not looking to skip training so that must say something but I just don’t feel as convinced as I was before.
For now, I can only carry on and see if this state of mind changes and the full motivation returns.