Exercise for fun?

As i currently have no idea of what event/race i fancy doing i am trying just to exercise for fun, no pace targets, no mileage targets and no intervals, just go out and do what i feel like.

The idea of exercising for fun and not for a specific purpose is a little but strange to me now having trained for a reason for so long. I have in the past struggled to exercise for no specific reason as i am really good at finding reasons not to do something!

I’m now a week into this experiment and I have to admit i am enjoying it. I have been out for a couple of bike rides, a couple of runs, yes running is back and then some indoor Zwift rides.

Running without having to go at a set pace or for a set time is making it easier to build back into running, so far I’ve just done a couple of laps of the village, which are just under 5km, so no big distances and certainly at no pace. The pace element of running is the piece i am finding a little tricky as i am nowhere near fit enough to run a t the pace i did previously although in my head i feel like i want to. I do know the only way i will get back to or close to those levels is time out running and some interval sessions. Interval sessions may be the work of the devil but they are very effective if not a little painful.

It remains to be seen how long the exercise for fun vide will last and whether i do find something i want to do, but in the meantime let us hope it continues to be fun and helps bring back the full motivation.

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The right direction

The last few weeks have been a case of doing some training as and when i have felt like it. My list of excuses for not doing some have ranged from, “can’t be arsed” to “still working” to “I’m playing FIFA”.

So. A range of “reasons” only one of which has any real merit but currently that is how it has been going. The funny thing is, that when i do do some training I’m enjoying it,be it a Zwift ride or a proper outside ride.

The other day o broke out the winter bike, well it is really my CX bike with mudguards and road tyres, and went for a gentle shakedown ride. It was a grey day and looking like it might rain, but despite that i enjoyed my slow paced ride.

I think i may have turned a corner in that i am enjoying the riding i am doing, next step is to get running again. I keep putting it off but unless i start now i won’t have enough miles to even think about doing any duathlons next year due to my long break from running. I am considering finding a running group to give me some motivation to get going as i think without it i might still be writing that i need to start next year.

Not much else to say currently other than that i am in the market for a new winter cycling jacket my Gabba 2 is past its best so look for a possible review if i find one!

Still looking for a direction

This last week started with.me being given some good advice from a variety of people in what might help me find some direction for my training, and I have to admit i have read it all but haven’t actually put any of it into practice, yet.

On the other hand i did do three sessions on Zwift which totalled 120km in 4 hours, so it does seem that even without my usual motivation too train i still find a way of at least do something. As an example i do a 70km route this morning, i thought about bailing out at various points but the thought of ticking off another Zwift route provided enough motivation for me to finish it. It also reminded me that eating when riding indoors is as important as when you are outdoors, i was very hungry when i finished. I also realised the saddle on my TT bike is not very comfortable anymore, time for a new one i think!

In terms of what to aim for, i am thinking of making some short term goals, that if they are not achieved won’t be devastating as they will provide a good base for any future activities. To that end I’m thinking that the Rapha festive 500 might be a fun challenge. You have to cycle 500km between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, a harder than average winter challenge but could be fun!

Next on my list of things to do is to get out and start running again, something that since having stopped seems far harder than it ever did before. Perhaps it is one of those things that once started will come back, i hope so but don’t know. The funny thing is that now the evenings have become dark i feel a bit more likely to go out as i like running with a head torch one, especially off road as it adds a toil hole of adventure to what would be an otherwise normal run. Let’s see what happens this week.

What’s next?

Well it has been a very long time since i wrote anything on this blog, and to be honest that has been mainly because i haven’t had much too say. I’m pretty sure there was no need for people to read my take on a global pandemic!

So what has changed since i last wrote anything? Well i haven’t done a race in probably 2 years and i am no longer a coached athlete. During the lockdown i couldn’t decide in what direction i wanted to go in and Iron Mike was looking to cut back on coaching, so we decided to go our own ways. It was very amicable and without Mike’s coaching over the years i doubt i would have achieved so much. In our time together i did an ultra marathon, a couple of triathlons any number of duathlons, cycle sportives, cx races and running events. I really enjoyed being coached and now that i have been left to fend for myself i realise just how beneficial being coached is, from the structured training plans to person to seek advice from, having a coach just works so well for me.

As for now, i am sort of looking for a new coach, so if anyone knows someone let me know.

As for what i am intending to do now, that is very much up in the air as i can’t decide what i want to do, i have toyed with the idea of LeJog and also how far could i cycle in a day, 200km, 250km or even further. Perhaps that might be fun aim to ride to somewhere a long way away in a day. Running is on the back burner currently, i took over 5 months off and i have tried to ease myself back into it but i am not enjoying it, so currently i am doing 3 or 4 easy’ bike sessions a week, but i find training without purpose so difficult and also most pointless.

In the near future the intention is find a direction for training and to start writin g this blog again, if nothing else it helps me out and if no one else reads it then that’s fine!!!

Inside out

Over the past few years i, like many other cyclists, have enjoyed the ability to ride indoors using Zwift.

Zwift, if you are not aware, is basically a virtual world where you can ride a myriad of routes where the software control the resistance on your smart trainer. There is an added feature to Zwift, you can also use it on a treadmill for running.

So, what does this all mean, well, for me i have found that training indoors on the bike has become a pleasure and so when the weather is not great i tend to opt for the trainer. Not usual you would think as using an indoor trainer allows you to do very controlled sessions so you can target power, cadence or heart rate. The odd side is that i have also been using it on the treadmill, and I hate indoor running.

For anyone who knows me, also knows that i would probably do a maximum of one runs year indoors and would go out whatever the weather. It seems i have now gone soft as if its raining I will use the treadmill.

The amount of indoor training i now do has started to slightly concern me, as where as i used to go out whatever the weather now i don’t, yes indoor training can be very targeted it also means you are not outside enjoying the real world.

The solution seems easy? Just go outdoors rather than inside, well yes that is the answer but the reality is that during the winter i can justify it by all the reasons above. The downsides are that I don’t go on club rides and don’t get to use the winter kit i own.

Am i going to change? I don’t know, my training through the winter has been consistent and i feel in reasonable shape and have achieved this without getting cold or soaking wet. I did go out over the Christmas period to prove I’ve not lost it completely but more recently its been the trainer.

i am looking forward to getting back out and about but equally i no longer think it is the only way to go.

So Was That 2018?

It is the time of the year when we sit down and reflect on what has gone before and usually y make some wild resolutions for the coming year.

2018 didn’t start that well, I broke a toe messing around and this put me behind with training, however, at this point I didn’t see it as a problem.

The main aim for 2018 was the London Duathlon, this was going to be backed up via the usual Winter Duathlon Series at Dorney Lake. As a plan it was good, the reality was to be somewhat different.

I could sit and go through all the events that led to the missing of the various events, but it turned out to be all linked to the bout of depression I went through. To read more about this go here, and you can read my account of it.

The London Duathlon itself was a cramp get but a reasonably enjoyable event set in a great venue.

When I look back at the year and think I only raced once, didn’t really achieve much athletically but on the other hand I probably learnt more about myself that at any time. I am sure many people have heard the phrase, “it helps to talk about it” but trust me it is so true, if you tell someone something isn’t right then you can start to try and make it right. I am lucky I had a good support network and came through, but if you see someone who isn’t their normal selves, ask them if they are ok, tell them it is ok not to be ok and if nothing else just listen to them, that might just be enough.

Am I going to make some wild resolutions for 2019, no, do I have some idea what I might do yes, am I going to tell you now, no! (if I did then what would I write about next?)

What I will say is I am looking forward to trying to achieve some things.

No review is complete without the list of thank you’s to those people who help me make it happen, firstly to the wife, her support and understanding basically gets me through everything, “Iron” Mike still catches me and sets sessions that are not only challenging at times but enjoyable plus he puts up with me often having no idea what I want to do which can make his job tricky! After these two I just thank anyone I have been cycling, running with as even if we only spoke briefly it would have made me smile!

Enjoy the rest of 2018 and I hope 2019 is good, and now I’m off for a glass of wine and a mince pie.

 

It’s better outside

This is the time of year when it can be a real struggle to motivate yourself to go outside and train, you know you should be the combination of dark, cold and probably rain make it a pretty tough ask.

I am in the very fortunate position of owning both a smart trainer and a decent treadmill so I have the option of training indoors and being able to do my sessions, and I have to say that recently I have noticed that I am tending to do more indoors, where as previously I went outside, especially for runs,.

This weekend I decided that both my sessions would be done outside, it didn’t matter what the weather was doing I was going to go outside.

Saturday morning arrived, I looked out of the window and it was throwing it down with rain and it was windy and it was misty, almost the holy trinity! I started to think if it would really matter if I didn’t go outside, after all I hadn’t actually told anyone what I was planning.

In the end after some consideration, I put on a waterproof jacket, an Endure cycling jacket as I don’t own a running specific one (if any running gear company reads this and would like to let me have one to review please contact me!!) and headed for the trails.

After the amount of rain the trails had gone from the dust of the summer to the soft wet mud of winter, and I have to say It was good to run on these wet paths. The weather decided it hadn’t rained enough and gave me a proper soaking, the wind blew and crossing a field on top of a hill the mist rolled in, yet despite these factors the chilterns still looked beautiful, sometimes you need days like these to remind you how lucky you are to live in the countryside.

What about today I hear you ask, well you might if you are still reading, today I headed out on the mountain bike. Obviously there was plenty of mud and this soon covered both me and the bike in it. One of the advantages of a singlespeed bike is that you don’t have to worry about mud clogging up the gears and making it hard to shift, the other side is that for 98% of the time you are in the wrong gear! However, the simplicity of it combined with the enjoyment of being outside again meant that the whole ride was enjoyable, even the uphill parts.

So then, have I learnt anything from this weekend? Well not really I have always known I prefer training outside and especially when running, Zwift makes turbo sessions much more enjoyable, but it has shown me that I still have the motivation to go out when the weather is shocking and enjoy myself. This I think I may have slightly forgotten over recent times.

So if in doubt go outside, once you are wet you are wet, once you are muddy you are muddy but when you finish and you see the state of yourself it does remind you of being a kid and playing gin the mud except now I don’t have anyone telling me off for doing it!!!

A Beautiful Brutality

The other day I was on the bike leg of a brick session, the sun was trying to break through, the wind was blowing straight into my face, there was snot running from my nose and I was probably dribbling ala Tony Martin (that is the only similarity between me and the Panzerwagen) my head was saying why are you doing this and frankly my legs were in agreement. For someone of my age and ability this is a perfectly sane question,

So what is it apart from stupidity and fear of Iron Mike that makes me carry on? Well it turns out the answer is simple, if you lift your head and look around the countryside is simply beautiful

As I struggled along I was looking for some help, and as performance enhancing drugs aren’t available on the road or legal!, I wondered what would work and then I lifted my head up, stopped concentrating on the road ahead and saw that I was going along a road with woodland on one side and open fields on the other and then I remembered why I go outdoors and not go to the gym, I love the countryside.

For some reason I had lost the ability to enjoy the countryside whilst pedalling hard, I don’t know why, I enjoy it whilst running but on hard bike sessions I seem to forget to enjoy my surroundings.

I went to a talk by Chrissie Wellington the other year and she said to her it is important to smile whilst racing as it helped her and kept her going. I try to remember this at hard moments but as I am miserable it is hard to smile at those times so I try to enjoy my surroundings and then use that to drive me on, perhaps smiling might help I will try it in the future.

I think that it is very important to enjoy the area you are training in not just train hard, if you don’t enjoy it then the question is what the point? The answer to that question can only be answered by each individual but for me I train outdoors as much as possible as I work indoors and I would rather be outside in the fresh air and as long as I remember to look around then the pain is reduced.

Out From Within The Shadows

This post have been a while in the making and is frankly one which I hesitated in writing, but ultimately it is about something which needs to be discussed in a more open forum.

In the early part of this year I lost my motivation and confidence to pretty much do anything. To start with I found some real life reasons to hide behind and call them the reasons but when I was honest with myself, yes these are possibly contributing factors but they weren’t the cause.

I don’t know if I was properly depressed, yes I was down and started to show the signs of depression, but I don’t believe I ever fully reached into the partnership with the black dog, instead I felt like I was led to cliff, walked to the edge and told to look over, and down the other side was the darkness and I was left to work out how to get back to where I wanted to be.

The way it manifested itself for me was firstly to not want to exercise, where as often exercise is a good way to improve mental health for me it was the opposite I found it a pressure and something I wanted to get away from. I pulled out of races and generally found reasons not to do anything. Yes I had days when I was able to get out, and in particular singlespeed mountain biking has helped as it was new and reintroduced me to the joys of mountain biking. Secondly I found I could have a public persona of everything is alright, I went to work did my job, and never told anyone how I felt.

How did I feel? Well basically, I just didn’t want to do anything, I felt like I couldn’t achieve, that failure was going to be the outcome no matter what I did.

To start with I thought it would pass, and then as time went on it got worse but I still felt it would pass, however, I didn’t do anything to and reverse the situation I just let it grow.

So what changed? Well I finally mentioned it to my wife, how I felt, and I know nothing revolutionary there, but just talking about it put it into some kind of perspective. The things I was hiding behind as excuses, work, deaths in the family and talking about it meant I was able to see that whilst these are things that do impact life they weren’t the actual causes.

In my life I am lucky, I have everything I need and more and so admitting that something is putting you into a depression is difficult because you can’t understand what it is. As I come to understand it doesn’t matter what you have, what you need depression can come to everyone, it seems simple to slip into it.

What have I learnt from this experience, well, that talking about it helps and there is nothing wrong with admitting that you need some help or that everything is not alright as unsurprisingly people will help you and the sooner the ask for help the sooner it can be given.

Now, I know I was lucky in that at worst I had a very mild or small level of depression but it certainly impacted my life, and having read of those who go very deep to the point of wanting to take their life it seems that if you don’t talk about it, it will escalate very quickly.

I am not sure I have managed to properly put into words my experience but just getting some down is enough as I now only want to look forward and not back at this, so if you are feeling down then talk to someone no matter how difficult it might be you have to start somewhere and once you take the first step in the right direction the rest will hopefully follow.

 

 

The Man With The Halo

This is a different post to those I would normally do, This is the story of a pro athlete who on the verge of possibly his best world championship performance nearly had everything taken away from him.

The film is around 25 minutes, but trust me it is worth the watch, if you feel you need some inspiration then this might just provide it or it might make you realise what you have

Enjoy it, share it

Click on this link to watch it The Man With The Halo